He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
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I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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