Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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