I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
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