im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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