Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I have demons in me.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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