Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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