I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
