i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
