I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
