So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
