I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
