Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
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I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
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The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Cover your peen. We're going out.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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