everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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