Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
