so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
