wrigley field is MILF paradise
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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