Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
