I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
