she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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