I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize