i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
