I think i peed on brittanys purse
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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