dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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