I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
