Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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