This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
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I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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