i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
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I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
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I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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