She's JV to your varsity
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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