It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize