so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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