i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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