I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
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