If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
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