I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Randomize
