Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
