She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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