Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
