so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
