Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
