Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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