So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
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