Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
