All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
