And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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