ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
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Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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