Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
