shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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