is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
