The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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