So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
