Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
