Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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