The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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