haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
