he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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