Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
they need to just BURY HIM!
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
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So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
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I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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