ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
