You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
