We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Randomize
