Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
