Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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