You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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