i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
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