I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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