Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
