do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
