You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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